As a holistic counsellor and psychotherapist, I understand the importance of working on my own healing through constantly looking at my own beliefs, values and triggers.

Recently i was away on a trip to the beautiful gold coast to celerbrate my friends 50th and I noticed the emotions I felt were not what I wanted for the weekend. They were fuelled with uncertainty and fear and I was unsure why. I had my husband with me to share the weekend. We were to swim each day, eat at beautiful cafes and share beautiful conversations and still I knew something didn’t feel right.

I had then to rely on my training and experience to work with these feeling so the weekend wouldn’t be ruined by my own internal reactions. I was reacting within myself to everything around me, my past experiences, my future ones and thus continually creating more fear.

This feeling stayed with me and I looked internally at what my emotion was stemming from which were ultimately past fears and future projections.

Then in one moment it all changed as I stopped in my tracks on the beach, I felt the sun on my back, the sand beneath my toes and opened my arms wide to the sky. I felt gratitude for this moment and again realised that I don’t need to be perfect, I don’t need to know all the outcomes and all I need is right now.

The healing is continual, ongoing and what a blessing it is to know it is always attainable.

Needless to say, the weekend was a hit and I had a wonderful time, although, if I hadn’t sat with these emotions, felt them with awareness and accepted I was allowed to feel this way given my past experiences, I may not have had the same felt experience.

It is the same with everyone who reacts instead of responds to experiences that they are challenged with.

The parts of our personality determine how our lives are run.

Do you remember the movie “Inside out?”

Well, next time you feel yourself reacting to someone or something, ask yourself who is this really? Is it Anger, impatience, fear or another emotion? Acknowledging the emotion then allows you to give yourself compassion and love for all of your parts as they each hold messages and need to connect with each other.

This is called Recourse Therapy and the belief is that our personality is made up of multifaceted parts, rather than being a homogeneous whole. These parts, which we all have are called Recourses available to help us.

(also known as Advanced Ego State Therapy as developed by Professor Gordon Emmerson PhD)